i have just arrived today......it feels a bit weird coming back from teh city ay......feel happy to be here but also sad to say goodbye to the girls.....ted picked me up....he is leaving in one month. he says he is ready to go and restart his life....its funny coz i feel pretty sad that he is going. who will i talk to now? haha.....no really actually, i was thinking that, who am i going to drink with after work and gossip to on the weekends? ahh life.....susan is sad...i can tell ay. she looks so down and tired, i feel so sorry for her. i dont know what to say.

I don't know why I'm getting teary-eyed. But it's so good that you have taken the steps to experience what you have done in the past four months! And I'm sure that you know that it is so much better than attending classes..well with what you have accomplished within the past four months - that is larger than life compared to what I'm diong now. Jason is dead. I stabbed him after I had sex with him in my sexual fantasy last night. I'm sick of fucking thinking of him. You know what, I bet you that when I EVENTUALLY have a root with him, it won't be even worth it. But you know what I figured out, I'm going to get over him - just a matter of time before I do. I need to fall in love now. (Breathing...)